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by Mike Vestil 

5 Things Every Man In His 20’s And 30’s Should Focus On

Time and time and time again, I’ve been traveling, attending networking events, and having conversations with men in their late 20s, 30s, or 60s.

One of the biggest fears and pains that they had was the regret in their eyes when they realized that they didn’t do all that they could in their 20s and in their early 30s.

In today’s video, we’re gonna talk about the five things that every man in his 20s and early 30s need to focus on.

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One of the biggest problems that we face as men while we go through our lives is that we do not take advantage of the early parts of our life.

Here are the 5 things that you should focus on in your 20s and early 30s

Times when we should be creating, crafting, and doing everything that we know we should do.

There was this one book that I was reading that talks about man’s search for meaning authored by Mark Victor Hansen.

He was one of those people who survived the Holocaust. 

It was him who said that man has two lives. First was when you were born and the second begins when you realize that you have one.

If you think about it, we all have these same two lives..

The first one is when we just go stroll by.

You didn’t realize you’re just playing it all small. You won’t do anything because you think it’s too risky. 

And maybe you have a wife, a white picket fence, a house, you have two kids then you realize you’re sad and you’re depressed and you didn’t accomplish everything.

That’s why people have midlife crisis because they realized that they didn’t take advantage of their 20s and 30s.

Then you have the second life.

And that’s realizing that you only have one life.

So if you’re alive right now and you’re gonna be out by 70 or 80 on your deathbed, you are going to look back and you’ll wonder how have you lived out your entire lifetime.

Guys, this is your second chance at life in this article.

If you focus on the five things that I’m about to tell you, you’re gonna create so much more freedom, abundance, love, joy, passionate relationships, and you will have the life that you know deep down you deserve! 

#1 FOCUS ON: Social Freedom

In your 20s or 30s, you need to focus on BEING THE PERSON THAT YOU ARE IN ALL SITUATIONS.

Men wear many different masks.

We wear this mask when we’re in front of our parents, in front of our girlfriend or our lovers. .

We wear this mask in front of different situations.

Now where does that tendency come from?

It’s coming from a survival instinct.

We feel like if we act in a certain way in front of some type of person, then we would survive.

But what happens is you have all these men in their 20s and early 30s tiptoeing their way to their deathbeds..

Just playing it safe and never wanting to be ridiculed, never wanting to be ostracized or looked at differently or judged.

And one of the biggest things that changed my life was when I realized that ‘Oh! The comments of others can’t pay my bills, they won’t increase the love in my life.’

So what I did earlier on when I was 21 was I took around three to four thousand dollars and I put that all into my social investment.

I just got out of a relationship at that time and that was three long years in total.

It was amazing when we first got started but because I was not conscious and because I did not focus on social freedom..

I started getting too attached and it turned out we started bleeding into each other.

If you notice the people that you surround yourself with the most, that’s what you become like. And it’s exactly the same thing with your passionate relationships.

So from  me being super masculine, I started becoming a little bit more feminine..

Especially when I was getting fed and especially when the sex life was good.

Which in effect, you’re no longer focusing on the energy up in your brain and you’re just into spilling away all your genius!

The problem with that at the end of the relationship is they started off great but then at the end of the relationship, say three, four, or five years down the road. .

They’re basically almost neutered.

What was once filled with freedom or masculine energy, they’re becoming more like docile creatures.

A lot of the times, men that’s staying in a long-term relationships get a little chubby and they literally forgot to talk to other human beings.

I remember because I was so dependent on the love of my partner at the time that after three years, when we decoupled and I tried going out and having a conversation. . 

Or even when I went to family events, I couldn’t even look people in the eye.

It was crazy!

Can you imagine not having social freedom not just in the world but even in your family circle?

It wasn’t until I spent three to four thousand dollars to move to Vegas for 30 days where I just focused on my social confidence. 

It was when everything started changing for me.

People started asking me how I’m able to walk around with my video camera and not care about people looking at me funny or judging me at any sense.

I’m like, I’m just gonna make all the videos that I want because I honestly don’t care.

Do you think that that would have happened out of nothing?

No, because I actually focused on what it would be like to just be myself around everybody.

It’s this new feeling of FREEDOM when you could just be your craziest self!

The most ratchet itself in front of everybody and not really caring what people think.

What you’ll realize is, when you are your true self and you-do not really assimilate your personality to your current surroundings..

But you are the man that you are deep down because you focus on your social freedom, and you just get yourself out there, you talk to everybody, and you didn’t depend on one person to give yourself happiness but instead you realize that happiness comes from within, and you can be yourself in front of anybody, then that’s gonna be the thing that takes you on to the next level!

#2 FOCUS ON: Gaining Reference Experiences

I like thinking about life as a video game.

Notice when you’re going by and in a video game you die.

Normally, you don’t really start at the beginning, you start at the last checkpoint.

But when you go out there and you get as much reference experience possible by not reading books or not even just like watching YouTube videos but really going out there and testing it. .

That’s when you start realizing that, ‘holy crap! I was in this situation before! I know exactly how to handle it..’

When I was in Vegas for that dating boot camp, we went out everyday sober.

And this is from someone who was in a relationship for three years who had no idea how to talk to people.

I’ve never been to Vegas before in my life!

So here it goes, I had to talk to strangers and I had to go talk to the most beautiful stunning girls in the world..

And I had to be able to be myself in that crazy chaotic environment and still be grounded as a man.

That was in my early 20s while everyone in that room was in their 30s to 50s!

Back that day I told myself, ‘Man, I’m so glad that I’m focusing on this now!’

That was one of the most significant times when I gained reference experiences.

Now it doesn’t matter where you are, you need to focus on gaining as MUCH reference experiences.

Talk to all those people that makes you uncomfortable..

Talk to the prettiest girl that you can, or start the businesses that you are afraid to do.


The problem with most people is they are so busy playing small..

They realize ‘oh man! If I just play it safe, if I don’t do anything crazy then maybe I can make to my six figures, and then I could travel around the world..’ 

But then when they travel around the world and you see them in Bali, funny thing is they still look constipated in the face because they thought that when they make all this money, then they could actually become social..

Or then they’d actually be happy.

But I’m telling you, if you do not focus on gaining reference experiences and especially in terms of being social or communicating. .

Or even knowing what to say to the opposite sex, it doesn’t really matter!

The goal of everything is to increase love and connection with people that think like us.

If you can’t focus on getting reference experiences, make it happen.

Because that’s literally what I did.

After that bootcamp in Vegas, I backpacked around Europe and Asia.

I went to all those places by myself because I didn’t want the person that I was to be dictated by the people that I was surrounded by.

#3 FOCUS ON: Networking

When you’re near 20s and early 30s, you also need to focus on building a tribe of people that will become your advisors, people that can pull you up instead of bring you down. 

This is exactly what I did..

For example, what I’m going in around Thursday or Friday is I’m spending 30 days for another emerging period.

If you notice, my life is filled with emerging periods where I don’t only focus on one thing the entire year.

For example, you’ll see me focusing on my business for 30 days, until it gets crazy. 

My dating life for 30 days, until gets crazy.

And then of course, my network for 30 days, until it gets crazy.

Each time I retract, I analyze all the networks that I’ve built and see how I can craft strategic alliances to get to the next level.

So quite recently, I was in a convention held in Croatia where all entrepreneurs gathered.

It’s really amazing and there were so many people that I haven’t met yet that we can create amazing relationships with.

You gotta realize that networking is one of the biggest goals.

It’s not about ME, it’s about WE. 

Instead of asking yourself what you need to know, you gotta ask yourself who you need to know to take your business in your life to the next level.

You’ll realize that networking is almost like a business in itself.

You’re in a period of your life where you need to get as many people into your close circle as possible..

People who are actually gonna be around in the next 30 to 40 years.

The problem with people when I talk to them when they’re older is, they’re like, ‘man! I was too much in my ego. I tried doing everything by myself. I tried really competing instead of collaborating..’

And because of that, they’re in their 40s with literally nothing and little to show for it.

On top of that, they’re alone.

And you don’t want to be like that!

#4 FOCUS ON: Creating a Legacy for Yourself

You’re in a position in time where everything that we do, the actions that we take compound over and over again. 

The problem with most people in their 20s and early 30s is, they have this shiny object syndrome where they go to the next opportunity and the next opportunity instead of diving deep in one thing that will be there for 10 to 20 to 30 years.

So when you start a business, make sure that that’s gonna be the business that you want to be in the next 10 to 15 years.

Or if you’re starting a business, just make it an extra money, have an intention to say ‘okay, this is the money that I want to make from this thing..’

Then once you actually have the capital, then you could actually be the one that invests in yourself instead of going out there like they do in Silicon Valley..

Really seeking for investors to invest in ideas. 

Make your first couple tens of thousands or a hundred thousand, save that up!

Then now in your early 20s, you could focus on the high-risk business investments and not just in other businesses but in yourself, in your own business, and in betting on yourself in your own ideas.

That’s literally what I did! 

I did a bunch of these making money online stuff  and I had this big nest egg.

I can just focus on creating a business that’s gonna be around in the next 20 or 30 years for me.

The legacy that I want to create is I want to travel around the world.

As you can see, I’ve been speaking on more stages but I want to do a lot of events..

I want to bring you guys in there, I want to do retreats, I want to bring and invite you guys to Bali maybe host someplace where we live in an epic villa. 

That’s the thing that I want to focus on because I know the worst case scenario if all else goes to crap, I’ll just start another way to make money online.

There’s so many ways!

#5 FOCUS ON: Being an Apprentice

You’re probably wondering what does apprenticeship mean.

If you think about it, back in the day men just didn’t go from 18 years old to men.

There was this rites of passages, if you will.

There were rituals for a man having to go out there and actually either live in the wilderness for a bit  or maybe they had to learn underneath somebody else.

Even if you think about swordsmen, when they were a little kid and you’ve looked at Knights back in history. .

They didn’t just start going to war and swinging a sword.

When they were little boys, there were older knights that were more distinguished and they apprentice under them.

If you think about that, that’s exactly how everything was happening in society.

Those were men’s rites of passages. 

This is a period in your life for those who are in their early 20s or 30s that you need to find someone who has the lifestyle that you want and you need to learn from them.

As for me, I did a lot of apprenticeship where I worked for free for people.

Who I am today and what I have wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t start finding apprenticeship from PEOPLE THAT ARE FAR AHEAD THAN ME.

Right now, you are in this amazing time!

The moment you understand that you could almost accelerate your growth by depending on the failures of others instead of the failures on your own..

You should be going out there and finding the number one person that could take your life to the next level.

Instead you just trying to figure out what they did or funnel hack them, start asking them what you’re doing wrong and how will you fix it.

That was one of the biggest things that brought the change in me.

When I dropped my ego and I said, ‘okay! I don’t know everything!’

I knew I had the ability to learn and the ability to accept change.

That’s the moment when everything changed for me.

Because when the change that happened inside me happened, that’s when the change in the business as well.

When I grew, so did my business grow!

Those are the five things that every man in the 20s and 30s should focus on. 

Guys, don’t do anything that is basically putting a disgrace on the greatness that is inside of you. 

Instead focus on complete mastery in these five things and you can watch your world, your life, and everything around you transform it in front of you!

So guys hopefully this helps!

I’ll see you in my next blog.

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About the author 

Mike Vestil

Mike Vestil is the author of the Lazy Man's Guide To Living The Good Life. He also has a YouTube channel with over 700,000 subscribers where he talks about personal development and personal finance.

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